|
|
| Author: John Furnem |
From my experience couple trying to Stop Divorce are faced with many challenges, some of these issues and challenges are often very surprising. One of the people who visited my site sent me an email saying that I would not believe how easy it was to work on some parts of the prevent divorce issue, and that the hardest thing he and his wife faced was breaking the old habits, changing the way they conducted themselves, the automatic pilot that drives relationships into walls.
This is what this article is about, trying to notice the point in which you lose control over your target (preventing and stopping your divorce) and let the auto pilot drive your relationship into a difficult spot. Shedding light on a few points, I hope that you will be better equipped the next time you are facing an argument or even a discussion.
First point, is almost too easy, the blame game. How easy is this? Now honestly, think about it, almost everyone does it, and you have done it many times before, you play this stupid little game, get yourself wrapped around this idea and lose control, not only escalating the situation but getting into a mindset of blaming and anger, this would not help you, or anyone for that matter, achieve anything. What you really need to do is examine the situation, think about what you did, or what you usually do, and what your spouse does, and be as objective as you can. Make a table with the things you both do, never forget to notice the things that you do wrong, because everyone does something wrong, and admit it, to yourself and to your spouse.
Second, the 'you are overreacting' sentence. How helpful was that?, men tend to say this to woman a lot, but I saw a few woman do that too, and this is a nasty one, not only do you judge your spouse, you are also criticizing their response, like you have any right to. Think about it for a moment, I am sure you will understand that this is a terrible thing to say and that in no case should you even consider saying this, take things at face value, if your partner is angry, focus on why he or she got to this situation and deal with it, don't push it away and award the what you think is an exaggerated reaction level to your partner.
Children or family issues, this is an extremely delicate issue. Using children as weapons in arguments and fights is something a lot of people do, a classic example of losing control and saying things you live to regret for a long time. A clear stop sign, if you can see it while you are angry and upset, in a middle of an argument, try your best to avoid using your children or other family members in fights.
One last point which is the general advice I can give, when discussing things with your spouse, or even when arguing or fighting, try and make the situation even, try and balance the power and the objectivity of the situation. This means that no one has clear control over the discussion, that it is a freeequal power debate between two people and not a lecture or verbal beating to one or another person.
In the next article I will discuss these issues further, good luck saving your relationship and stop divorce. |
Author Bio:
John Furnem is a dot com veteran, specializing in personality psychology he has written articles and held workshops/seminars for stress management and divorce prevention. John currently writes Stop A Divorce articles. |
| You can search for this article using: divorce advice, divorce papers, divorce records, divorce lawyer, divorce forms, separation & divorce |
|
|
 |
| |
Related Articles |
| |
Fashion Design Games
|
| |
Pucker Up On Your Wedding Day
|
| |
Bariatric Surgery Contributes to Rise in Body Contouring Procedures in Michiana
|
| |
The Truth About Why Women Reject Men
|
| |
Living your Best life - Single!
|
| |
Acne Scars - Getting Rid of Bad Memories!
|
| |
Wedding Beauty Treatments
|
| |
How to Finally Approach the Women You Lust for
|
| |
Extravagant Wedding Favors & Games
|
| |
To Love Forever - Wisdom From The Fulfillment Forum
|
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
|
Yes, Its Not Too Late Yet - D Money |
| |
|
Breast enhancement, or augmentation mamoplasty, is a cosmetic surgery performed to enhance the size ... - Eric Morris |
| |
|
Dovid Grossman, a coach and father of nine, recently told me that his father and he had fought const ... - Alvah Parker |
| |
|
|
| |
|
Details new developments in Hyaluronic acid sources particulartly Hyaluronic acid gained from the vi ... - Jana Willinger |
| |
|
Improving your marriage doesn?t necessarily have to involve huge changes on your part or your spouse ... - Nancy Wasson |
| |
|
There are many reasons tens of thousands of couples flock to Las Vegas every year to get married. - Rebecca Johnson |
| |
|
Many people think they already know how to apply eyeliner, and by all rights, they do a good job. In ... - John Morris |
| |
|
Time was, men didn't know how to act." - Barrett Solberg |
| |
|
| |
|
|
